Monday, April 23, 2012

Goodbyes...


Haven't I seen this before?

Well, I'm back. Currently in Cheyenne, Wyoming (picture above). It has been a very rough and hard day. Aside from driving for 12 hours straight, in all honesty wasn't that bad, saying goodbye to my parents was probably the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life, so far. I'm super close with both of my parents and when I decided that I WAS moving to Portland, I knew it was going to be hard and the thought of moving away from them made me sad but it never really hit me until my Dad was telling me good bye and turned around and gave me a look. Yes, the look that basically says "I love you, sweetheart and I'm going to really miss and are you sure you want to go through with this and, finally, do you have to leave?".... I lost it. I was trying so hard to be strong and not breakdown. Immediately, I turned around and there was my mom and I didn't know I could lose it even more, but I did. We both cried and hugged each other for ten minutes straight. I couldn't let go and neither could she. I'm her baby and she is my Mom. I walked out of the door sobbing and continued to cry for the next thirty minutes in the car. There were so many moments I almost talked myself into turning the car around and going back home, and I still have those thoughts, but I've already come this far and I know that, if I turn around, I will continue to think "what if?" and I'm not satisfied with that.

I don't really know if this was the right decision or not and I don't really know what the future holds, but I do know that I have loving parents, family, and friends. I am so grateful. 

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