I don't really know how to say this.

How do you know if you're being tested? Not by God, but by evil.

I found myself feeling a sense of wholeness from my faith. The goosebumps that appear on your arm when you get this overwhelming feeling that just fills your heart. I felt protected by Him. It was like having a best friend to talk to that will just listen. That's what I needed, just someone to listen. I would focus on that everyday.

But then I got caught up in my emotional rollercoaster of a life.

I have the stress of tough financial situations where I am just flat broke.

My head and my heart have pulled me in two different directions and I promised myself that I would go with my gut. I did, to the best of my abilities.

People have popped up from the dark, dusty corners of my past.

I'm struggling with finding myself.

I know that is nothing compared to the struggles other people go through. There's a lot worse. Actually, I find it hard to continue to keep writing this post, now that I think about it because it makes me feel foolish. But I am going to continue.

I don't feel comfortable with myself and that is a battle in and of itself. That's why I feel like I'm being tested. I don't like when I don't feel close to Him and it's because of me that it's that way. It's because of me that I feel so empty, alone, and emotionally exhausted.

I just feel like I have let myself down.

That was a bit selfish.

"I realized adventure was the best way to learn".

I got this tattoo because I wholeheartedly believe it.  

I never believed that this journey would be easy. I'm learning as I go. I'm building my faith along the way.

I'm falling...

I'm picking myself back up...

I'm falling...

I'm picking myself back up...

I'm falling...

God is picking me up...

That says it all.